Why You Should Never Hire Your Best Friend



Posted: Sunday, October 09, 2005

by
Glenn Shepard Seminars, Inc.

Supervising close friends rarely works because the dynamics of the two relationships contradict one another. Friendships are based on mutuality. Friends reveal intimate secrets to each other and make themselves vulnerable. This completely contradicts the relationship of a manager and employee. Managers are in a superior-subordinate relationship with employees. It is not possible to simultaneously be a person’s superior and be his peer. Ultimately, your friendship or your ability to supervise will suffer. According to the U.S. Department of Labor, the average job lasts about three years. A good friend lasts a lifetime. Good employees are hard to find but good life-long friends are even harder to find, so don’t hire your friends.

The situation differs if you developed a friendship with coworkers who were previously your peers, and you’ve recently become their supervisor. After-hours social outings are now different. If you regularly went out with your coworkers in the past, don’t stop altogether. This will be too abrupt and they’ll think becoming a manager has gone to your head. Start pulling back slowly by periodically finding an excuse to decline invitations. On the nights you do go, leave early so they can have fun without the boss. Once you become a manager, you’re not one of them any more. Don’t fool yourself into thinking differently.

Glenn Shepard is a speaker, coach, and author in Nashville, TN. This article is excerpted from his book “How to Manage Problem Employees: A Step-by-Step Guide to Turning Difficult Employees into High Performers", available at Borders, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon.com. He also publishes a free weekly newsletter at www.Glenn-Shepard.com

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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)
» left by S.RAMASUBBU from COIMBATORE 5 years 232 days ago.
Very good. It gives transparent view of what happens in many people's life.
» left by Anonymous 2 years 354 days ago.
This is total bunk.
» left by Jacquelyne Williams 2 years 305 days ago.
I agree. My last employer lost a good employee (me) because my supervisor covered up for a trouble making, non working employee. They were friends years before the supervisor got her hired and the supervisor was the only one who cried when the girl quit - 5 months after I did...
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